Someone wrote me today saying in part, “Love is selfish it isn't possible for humans to truly LOVE. Sad but true.”

This was in part my response, ‘You don't really believe that do you?  You are only speaking from a place of hurt and disappointment right. It is our way of loving which is Selfish or Selfless.

Love simply is... yet is it complex in that love loves for lots of reasons; even the unexpected as it develops and evolves through stages of being Selfish and Selfless. Over time we come to understand this truth experientially, it seems to be.

Selfless love knows that there is enough love available for everyone and that the way to get more love is to give more; deep within it desires for everyone to feel love and to be loved. Real love is an emotion that intensifies and matures throughout a lifetime. It is the small, everyday acts of being together, sharing our lives and our true selves that makes love flourish. It is sharing, caring, and respecting one another with giving and taking while choosing to receive what is offered from moment to moment as a precious Gift being offered and not a right that can be demanded.  Selfless love, though, means rising above our own needs (to be loved and respected in return, to be happy in the moment) and sometimes has to make uncomfortable choices, lest it becomes dysfunctional and not true to the values love has to offer all concerned.

When Humans love selfishly, they keep love close to themselves in an effort to protect it. Selfish love is stingy and self-centered and it believes there is only enough of it to fill its own neediness. All too often we look at love selfishly, as something we want and need and deserve, without considering who we are being in the moment. Selfish love is conditional love through which one simply wants our needs to be met, and if the person chosen to love doesn't serve our needs, we reject that person and search elsewhere to fill a void that only selfless love can fill. Selfish love can breed more pain than pleasure for all concerned, until Selfless love is loved to life.

Humanity can love others for all sorts of reasons ... selfish and selfless, as we learn and evolve and love is matured and honed ... through the Spirit of Love as our Guide and Teacher. I do not think there is any condemnation in that necessary process. This is part of what it is to be an ever evolving Human BEing.  

Humans love others:

Because we can rest in a shared, imperfect love.

Because another loved us first, or because they love us and thus that makes us happy, so we choose to love them too in hopes of making them happy as well.

Because we look up to another, perhaps they make us feel respected, they encourage us to be successful, show us we are needed or wanted and deep within we want to find someone we can do the same for in return.

Because as we look up to them, we consider them the embodiment of what or who we aspire to Be ... we know their love returned will encourage us both to be and do our best.

Because we are like-minded; this is akin to loving what we love about our self and thus we find pleasure being with them and we know they find pleasure in return. We agree this is excellent breeding ground for healthy interdependent loving relationships.

Because we have been through much together and we can see continuing being loving, together, is beneficial.

Because of the memories we share and thus we cannot imagine life without them and are willing to overcome that which is destructive behavior for the sake of maturing our mutual love.

Because we are instrumental in raising them and want what is best for them in their present and future.

Because they are willing to make a sacrifice for the sake of our happiness and mutual love and we are more than willing to do the same.

Because they make us feel loved and lovable and acknowledge we do the same for them, such acknowledgement increases the intimacy of our love.

Because we feel validated in giving love, to do so makes the both of us happy.

Because another exhibits some rare, honorable quality that makes them a unique beautiful soul we want to explore and love more deeply.

Because they are nice to look at and we feel good knowing someone attractive likes us and wants to be our friend.

Because we are best friends, and we know we both have each other’s back and always will ... this kind of love gives us the pleasure of feeling secure.

Because they are gentle and kind and generous and deserve to be loved.

Because they are damaged and insecure and vulnerable and deserve or need our unconditional, nonjudgmental love.

Because they fill a void left by someone else - family members that have passed, past loves, friends no longer around and this gives us hope for a more positive future.

Because we were created with a need-desire to love and a need-desire to be loved in return ... that is what it is to be a Human, who is becoming at One with the Spirit of our Creator, is what is alive within me.

Again, it is our way of loving which is selfish or selfless ... genuine love, simply is and has unlimited possibilities and many more reasons for its existence ... and once it is acknowledged, life becomes far more interesting, enjoyable and loving.

As Humans come to know this experientially, a life of loving becomes more fulfilling... has been my observations and a part of my personal experience. I hope that becomes your personal experience again soon.’

Do you agree or disagree?  Let us talk... as usual, your comments are welcome, whether you agree or disagree, we each have a unique perspective it may be necessary for others to consider with us.