After being healed supernaturally of a Tubular Pregnancy... the Pastor of the Church I was visiting spoke of a healing in his own life and healings of other Pastors.  He gave Testimony of a recent time when he was taking an Eye Exam at DMV. He said he had been given the Gift of Faith to believe God was going to heal his eyes when he took his eye exam.  When it was his turn he took off his glasses and tried to read the letters.  As the woman behind the counter asked him if he could see the letters he'd respond, 'I believe I can see'.

The letters did not come into focus until this woman frustrated, finally said, 'Then read the letters!'

In his enthusiasm, this Pastor then encouraged us to step out in faith and line up near the Pulpit and allow himself or one of the Church Leaders to lay hands on us that we might receive the healing power of God, based upon New Testament Scriptures. 

My eyesight was in need of healing, so after that Sermon every time there was a healing line, I stepped out for the healing of my eyes, but nothing happened. One Person said I did not have enough faith, so I needed to envision the healing and to prove I believed by stepping out in faith and taking off my glasses and claiming it, for it to come into being.  Assuming as a Leader they knew best and remembering the Testimony of the Pastor, as a new Believer this made sense. Presuming this is what God would want, without seeking His truth of the matter for myself, I took off my glasses and stumbled around ... naming and claiming my physical healing for a period of time. Meanwhile, this Pastor continued teaching Sermons on the healing power of God and our Spiritual Authority as born again Believers. I knew God heals experientially already, so my heart bore witness to His healing power. The Revelation of claiming my Spiritual Authority through my union with Christ and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. was one which was new and I embraced it with the understanding of a Spiritual Infant. When some of us did not get our healing right away, Pastor taught us to keep claiming it with positive confessions and prayers of spiritual warfare. Eventually he also taught that we must be in need of seeking God as to which sin was keeping us from getting our healing. Nothing the Pastor told me to do worked and I was beginning to become swallowed up in condemnati. I became confused.  Realizing condemnation and confusion are not fruits of the Holy Spirit, I found my self at a loss as to what to do. About that time we were told we just did not have enough faith and we needed to seek the Spirit of the Lord for more ... Fasting and deliverance was recommended.

Upon hearing this, I sensed a need to take a Sabbatical and chose to fast and pray alone at that time.  After asking for a word from the Spirit of the Lord regarding Father's mind on these matters, I waiting with a listening heart.  I prayed in tongues with a sense of expectancy, but had no preconceived expectations. Eventually I fell asleep...

I woke up hearing the words, 'Having your feet shod with the preparation of the Gospel of Peace,' and realized I had lost the peace Jesus had originally imparted and was in need of having it renewed.

Next I heard, 'The Word of the Lord came unto Jeremiah. The Word of the Lord came unto Ezekiel, The Word of the Lord came unto Isaiah and Moses ... The word of the Lord did not come to you and tell you to take off your glasses and claim My healing power with Spiritual Authority. Put your glasses back on.'

I am reminded of a dream I had where as a little child I was trying to wield a Giant Sword. When I awoke from the dream I was given the impression, I needed to grow before I could pick up the Sword and use it with Authority.

When I realized I was walking in presumption, I reacted with anger.  I asked Father, 'After I asked to be led to the Church of Your choice, with the hopes the Holy Spirit would lead me into all truth, why did You allow all of that to take place?'

In response heard, 'I needed to expose the part of your Adamic nature which wants to be God, before we could move on together, enabling you to come up higher in your Spiritual Awareness. Release it to Me... as children of God you are my inheritance, you are not God. You are not to ride on another's Coat Tails nor to presume based upon another's Testimony. Seek Me and My will of the moment first. Put your trust in Me not a man or their teachings, not in your belief, or your inherent right to My power as a Child of God. Come to ME directly first. I will reveal and confirm my Truth. I will reveal My will with wondrous signs following...'

Humbled... I have sought to do so as His child who is aware I am growing in Spirit and Truth according to His plan for my life.  I understand better these days what it means to die daily to the old ways of being, perceptions and preconditioning before I was born of the Holy Spirit, that I might embrace the new life with His regenerative power and all He desires having offered such.