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~ please read previous post 1st as this is an continuation of that ~
As I listened to Father God's words of explanation as to why I was in this painful cycle, "It's your identification with love: Yell at me, punish me, hurt me. This is your souls place of comfort. Your subconscious mind seeks to create it, in it's search for love. Let go of your identification with and limited concept of love. Embrace the truth of My love." a memory from my childhood came into my mind:
With great pain in my heart I was telling my friend "I can't play with you anymore, since mom discovered us smoking and drinking at your house."
If I remember correctly, she had just turned 13 and was an only child of a second marriage, both of whom worked. I was 11 and the oldest of 4 ... my mom was a stay at home mom. It was 1960 and we lived in a small neighborhood in the Suburbs. A few of us had gone up to her house to play. She suggested we pretend that we are grown up and gave me a whiskey with a cherry in it and called it a Martini. I hated the taste and the burning of my throat. It took me years before I was willing to taste alcohol again. When she offered me a pack of Paxton Cigarettes, being a non smoker, I assumed chain smoking was the norm ... this made me sick to my stomach and caused me to never want another cigarette.
Later, another Friend dropped by and discovered what we were doing, she was horrified and quickly left. She told her Mom who told my Mom, who promptly came up to get me with my Father's belt. She screamed and cursed me, as she whipped me all of the way Home. Such behavior was not the norm for her. As an Adult, I came to understand Mom had a hard time controlling and letting go of her temper and became irrational when angry, so my Parents agreed Dad needed to be the predominant Disciplinarian when it came to deciding on the punishment and doling it out.
"You just wait until your Father gets home!" were usually her final words on the matter once the dastardly deed was found out and she'd had her say.
Part of my Dad's united front Philosophy, which he explained to me when I became a Parent was: If you are harsh with them the first time, hopefully there won't be a second. Never punish in anger, instead make them think about their crime until bedtime. If you remember if you all forget to remind me to punish you, or fought me, your punishment will be twice as severe.
"I don't care what other Parents let their Children do, we're not responsible for them. What we say goes!" were usually his final words on the matter once they came into agreement privately and he had their say publically.
My Parents' took their roles as responsible Parents seriously. They loved us dearly, willingly making sacrifices, wanting what was best for us. They had no problem being thought of as the bad guys if that caused us to turn out to be half way decent human beings. 'Sparing the rod, definitely spoilt the child' in their minds... they believed a spoilt child, like spoilt meat has no value.
One word of disrespect to either of them was the ultimate crime. "That's my Wife you're talking to!", was something Dad only had to say to me once. My Dad never had to count to three as a warning either.... we knew he meant Business by the tone of his voice and 'One' was all that was necessary. I think the key to this was my Parents were consistent and they were united. I am glad they were firm... it has saved me a lot of hardship as an Adult.
I don't remember what else I said to my Friend that day as I whined and complained about my Parent's harsh punishment in deciding to not let us continue as Friends... but I do remember her teary eyed reply to me, before we parted company, "Well... at least your Parents love you enough to punish you. My Parent's don't care."
Her parting words and the strange feelings which came over me after hearing them, became the focus of my memory. Seeing the distorted thinking which had been built upon her words in an effort to ease my grief in loosing a Friend enabled me to understand much which had transpired since, in a brighter light. Willingly I released my unhealthy 'identification with Love'. Inspired by the promise of the power to embrace that which would renew the spirit of my mind and the motivations of my heart as I did ... I entered more deeply into the transforming energy of Father's overflowing, life giving love with the Spiritual Understanding of the Wisdom of letting go.
As it is in Heaven may it be So on Earth!
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